Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Since it's slow...

The 16 and 1/2 most oft-heard utterances at New Year’s Eve parties:

1.) How was your Christmas? (ugh)

2.) Any of these chicks single?

3.) See ya next year! (guffaw guffaw guffaw!)

4.) You been fitted for that Y2K yet?

5.) If I absolutely HAD to…ya know, in a pinch…where would I puke?

6.) That dude making out with his friend’s wife: he’s not driving, is he?

7.) Ya know that expression, “sticking out like a turd in a punch bowl?” Well, you might wanna come have a look at this.

8.) How ya fixed for plungers?

9.) So, I’m thinking of telling my Rabbi it’s over.

10.) Next year’s gonna finally be the year that I find my pencil.

11.) That chick with the gum in her hair: she drive here?

12.) Needless to say, that was the last time I mixed booze, Thai food and midget wrestling.

13.) Stock tips? I lost my shirt in that buggy whip fallout!

14.) Hey, pal…that’s an ottoman, not a urinal.

15.) Hey, hon….stop licking that ottoman.

16.) It’s like I always say, there's more spinach in the world than there isn’t lettuce.

16 1/2.) If that germbo isma beernuts, gwana needa bitty jellnish ishba nedder!

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